As I walk to where I'm meeting a friend in Cambridge at Thelonious Monkfish, I pass three places with sidewalk seating. I must sit outside today. I have café envy. Sadly, no one is sitting outside at the Monkfish tables. No one takes our order until I insist. This is so not what I expected.

It's a big menu. I understand wanting to have something for everyone. That said, we order one sushi deluxe and one sushi regular. Why is the regular $17 and the deluxe $20 aside from one shrimp? The fish is fresh and fine.

Monkfish Here's what we didn't have: mad monk noodles ("bring one to the edge of madness and creative genius"), soup, curry, stir-fry, duck, beef, pork, seafood, chicken, fried rice, vegetarian rolls, demi salads, donburi, party boats, fairy tale sushi ("what if your prince is actually a frog and not the other way around") or zensai, thankfully comment-free.

We didn't have jazz rolls either. There's "Off-Key Marie, she sang a song and killed a mockingbird" roll. Pure fiction plus bad poetry. Harlem Nocturne roll: "His sweltering flat/woman sobbing through the wall /in his head he blows his horn." Earle Hagen didn't write it, Mel Torme didn't sing it plus bad poetry. Here's their dreadful, and I'm being kind, description on the Gaga roll: "The Madonna roll is made the same way except we use old fish." Monkfish boys: Scat!

Thelonious Monkfish
524 Mass Ave.
Cambridge, MA 02139
617. 441. 2116

Kitty Kaufman is a Boston writer and business organizer. You can see more of her food adventures at Corporate Edge.