I'm in Delaware

by Max Bernstein
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joe_biden.jpg Delaware, best known for the "I'm in Delaware" joke in the first Wayne's World movie, is apparently having its primary as well on Tuesday. Though Hawaii is the 50th state, it might as well be Delaware because whenever you have to name all the states, you remember 49 of them and name Delaware last. Likewise, I'm sure that in a year when asked to name the starting Democratic field, everyone will remember Delaware senator Joe Biden last, despite having been in the Senate since he was a toddler. He is to the Democratic field what Delaware is to the other states, and we all loved his unforgettable remarks about how amazing it is that Barack Obama can put together a sentence and that Indians can work at 7-11. Some people are writers, not talkers.

Even though he has dropped out of the race, Joe Biden will still be on the ballot and I am endorsing him for the Delaware primary, though not  any of the other ones, because he's very crabby, much like the delicious crabs that I ate the one time I was in Delaware on purpose (when you drive from New York to Philadelphia, there's a 50% chance that Mapquest will fuck you up and put you on a bridge to Delaware, and you say "Fuck!" and turn around. Thus, I have been to Delaware 30 times.) He will surely be checking the results and will cry if he doesn't get 3% of the vote, so please - have a conscience, and then vote it.

 

Max Bernstein is making a name for himself as a musician in Los Angeles. Under the name Max and The Marginalized, he writes and records a song a week concerning current issues. . They can be heard on MySpace or The Huffington Post.

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