Cooking and travel shows make me angry. That's right, I said angry. For
a very irrational reason. They make me hungry, which leads me to
snacking which is making me fat. I usually have pretty good
self-control, mainly because I don't stock snacks in my home to begin
with; however, after watching Anthony Bourdain traveling the globe
eating across country after country, Mario Batali delivering another
delicious Italian dish and the Top Chef contestants turning vending
machine food into gourmet treats, I want to enjoy what they're
eating/making right at that moment and I can't.
Thus I get angry and find myself rummaging through my kitchen looking for anything to ease my phantom hunger pains. I'm not really hungry, they've just made me think that I am and when all I can conjure up is stale nuts or microwave popcorn, I get miffed. Sure, I could have more selections on hand, but that would not be helpful to my waistline. Nor would they be as delicious as what I'm seeing on the screen. Getting enough exercise when you work in front of a computer all day is hard enough without these talented kitchen wizards making it worse.
Oh those personal chefs of Palm Beach – those white jacketed, croc-shod, Bluetooth-eared, clubby bunch that troll the aisles of our local supermarket! Is it simple envy that knowing they wield a knife better than I that has made me feel less than human as I wheel my cart past them? Probably. But, today there was victory! Today, There was Deliverance! Equality – nay – Superiority! (They don’t have to know I usually cut my finger when I cut a bagel – and you don’t have to tell them!)