I’m obsessed. I want to know everything. I’ve hunted for her favorite recipe for Moose stew. I spend hours on my computer searching for footage. I want transcripts. YouTube moments. Because I couldn’t write the stuff that comes out of her mouth. And I write dialogue for a living.
She is…special.
My husband Gary has pointed out that she is our first Reality Television Candidate.
I believe my husband is on to something. Her qualifications would be more appropriate for the television show: "The Amazing Race". For those uninitiated, Wikipedia explains the show on CBS to be: “a reality television game show in which teams of two people, which have some form of a preexisting personal relationship, race around the world in competition with other teams.”
No matter what you think of her run for the Vice Presidency, there is no denying that she and the First Dude (that’s more fun than Todd, isn’t it?) would make an excellent “Amazing Race” team.
High Tech, Low Tech, and On-line Afflictions
Technology
I Love Ooma
If you haven’t heard of Ooma, you will soon. I discovered it because I
was sick and tired of paying ATT&T for a landline we rarely ever
used that cost us over $40 a month with no extras. We
didn’t even have call waiting, which was nice for us, but the busy
signal always freaked our friends out. At least they knew we were home
even if they couldn’t reach us.
One day last fall I came across a message on one of my geek boards
about a box that uses your current phone number and phones over the
Internet. More research showed that everyone was talking about Ooma, a
system that seemed to be as popular as Uma Thurman among the nerd
community. I was a bit skeptical until I saw over 75 positive reviews
on Amazon. It seemed this system was exactly what I was looking for.
Unlike Vonage a similar service that has a monthly fee, once you
purchase the Ooma system (about $200), you never have to pay another
phone bill again. That’s right I said NEVER. Plus, getting to keep our
existing home phone number (for a small fee) was essential. We’ve had
it for 12 years and it’s the one number my wife can actually remember.
My Filofax, My Friend
Four people asked me what I wanted for my birthday last week and I gave each of them the same answer, “A new Filofax.” All four of them said the same thing. “No, you don’t. Nobody wants a Filofax any more. It’s so old-fashioned. Don’t be ridiculous. iPhone.” My daughter Maia was the harshest. She simply said, “Oh, Mom! iPhone.” It made me feel old-fashioned. It made me feel old.
For the record, I have an iPhone but despite the fact that four assistants over the last three years have religiously promised to transfer all my names and phone numbers into my computer and my iPhone, it hasn’t quite happened yet. And I never seem to have the time.
But I like my Filofax (even though it does sort of look like a truck ran over it.) It feels like a friend. I like it that it has names and addresses and phone numbers hand-printed into it. (Arguably, a few of them are dead, but I’ve learned not to notice. And I can’t quite bring myself to cross the names out. That would seem too final.) I use it in meetings to take notes. Sometimes, I’ll have a thought in the car or a random sentence for something I’m working on and I’ll pull over and jot it down into my Filofax. There are a few haikus that will probably never be printed anywhere else. I can gauge from them how sad I was on a given day. (Haikus are usually sad. The more comedic ones have found their way into my computer.)
Lean Like a Cholo
One of the things I feel is emblematic of being a California Girl is the love of cars. The Peterson Automotive Museum is having a Low Rider exhibit right now. Bitchen, right? Personally, I can’t wait.
My earliest memory of the low rider culture was a song by Thee Midniters, probably the first significant Chicano rock bands to come out of Los Angeles. They had several hits, like Land of 1,000 Dances, but anyone who grew up loving music and cars in the 1960s couldn’t forget “Let’s take a trip down Whittier Boulevard, yeehaa, Arriba , Arriba!” It’s part of my DNA just as much as the love of surfing. In fact, when you listen to the song, it has that early surf sound. That reverb electric guitar Dick Dale made famous. But that’s a whole other story for another time.
"What the He'll??"
Like most Americans, I like to complain.
Whatever has irked me - be it a problem at work, a squabble with my
parents, a politician’s latest scandal, a friend’s thoughtless remark,
or just a spontaneous burst of exasperation with my life in general, I
relish in the rant. Also like most Americans, when I’m having a bad
day, I think it only fair to let everyone know it – a goal readily met
thanks to the wonders of text messaging technology. Within seconds I
am able to disseminate my missives of misery to anyone I deem worthy,
invoking references to Satan’s domain to get my point across
effectively.
“WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?!”
“WELL, SHE CAN JUST GO TO HELL AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED!”
“WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!”
Yes, it feels good to vent with the tip of my finger. Only trouble is, I have the new iPhone and it doesn’t believe in Hell.
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