Every website has one...and so should you. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE
the Internet. I make my living because of it. I've been shopping on it
since Day 1. Used AOL before there was a World Wide Web when you had to
dial-up to get on. Being married to someone known in our circle as The
Man – because he can fix any computer problem – leads people to believe
that I'm as tech savvy as he is. People are continuously surprised when
they discover how low-tech I actually am. There seems to be a
disconnect when I explain that I just work on the computer, I don't
understand how it works. Sure, I can install software, program my
iPhone and even add more memory to a machine in a pinch, but when it
comes to setting up an email account, using a Blackberry, texting from
my phone or posting a video to YouTube, I have less knowledge than a
5th Grader.
You won't find me on MySpace, Linked In or Facebook. Partially because
I run three websites and want to have a life away from my
computer...though I love it so... but mainly because I find the idea of
"social networking" more than a little creepy. Is it really social if
you're just typing on a computer by yourself?
High Tech, Low Tech, and On-line Afflictions
Technology
Super Bowl for Nerds
Tons of events, corporate sponsors, dedicated fans, traffic, people descending from all parts of the country and world, and lots of bright lights. Super Bowl? No, it's a political convention. I'm on my way to Denver for the DNC convention, and it feels like I'm going to a Super Bowl weekend.
I've been to Super Bowl a few times and the weeks leading up to it are always spent figuring out which events to go to, how to snag a hotel room, securing a rental car in a scarce market, and coordinating with friends and acquaintances who are going to be in the event city. This week has been no different and I'm amazed at how similar the lead-up to the two events has felt.
Former veterans of their craft are everywhere, talking heads will abound, and the real bigwigs are determined by who can get tickets to which events and parties. Sounds like Super Bowl to me.
All That's Certain Is Death & Technology
Last month, I received a call from Johnny Carson, a man for whom I was once privileged to work. There was no doubt that it was Johnny because as my iPhone trilled its canned, bluesy theme, the screen lit up with the contact photo I had once assigned him, a characteristic pose I found on a postcard in the Paley Center Gift Shop. He's at his Tonight Show desk, probably early 1980's, wide-lapelled, his forefinger pistol-pointing to his temple in mock suicide. A call from Mr. C was not an everyday event, and even more rare since his death seven years ago. As it turned out, the King of Late Night wasn't phoning from beyond with a riff on Mitt Romney's car elevator -- in fact, as you may have guessed, he wasn't calling at all. It was his nephew Jeff, who now runs the store at Carson productions, one of the phone numbers I'd long ago entered for his uncle.
Which brings me, name-droppingly, and in a roundabout way, to a habit I have -- if repeated inaction can be classified a habit -- of not deleting the dead. Nothing is as certain as death and taxes -- except on my iPhone 4S where the Reaper takes a permanent holiday.
Apples and Sheep
The real issue is the phone. I am almost at the end of the contract that binds me to Verizon and to my pink Blackberry Curve. It hasn’t been a bad run; I’ve never had an issue with Verizon aside from their draconian tendency to declare a payment “late” five minutes after it’s due, and I mostly like the Blackberry. It has limits, though, the Blackberry – I would like a bigger screen, faster connections, and the ability to play music from my iTunes library. I have long dreamed of a single device that would replace the Blackberry/iPod Touch combo that I now carry everywhere I go for more than five minutes, and that dream could, of course, be answered by an iPhone. That slender, shiny object has long been the Holy Grail of technology about which I have barely allowed myself to dream; we are a Verizon family, I had A Contract, it was Terribly Expensive.
In a world filled with war, poverty and oil spills, it seemed beyond petty to spend time thinking about a phone, even a phone that would play my music, offer me Doodle Jump when my oral surgeon left me in the chair, and allow me to use my index finger to scroll swiftly to the last comment on a post. I do think about it, though, growing faintly fevered as I contemplate the possibilities. No more juggling the Blackberry and the iTouch while driving. No more endless scrolling with the little ball to get to the bottom of a screen. The end of receiving calls asking me if I had intentionally made a phone call when I had, in fact, dialed accidentally through pocket or purse.
"What the He'll??"
Like most Americans, I like to complain.
Whatever has irked me - be it a problem at work, a squabble with my
parents, a politician’s latest scandal, a friend’s thoughtless remark,
or just a spontaneous burst of exasperation with my life in general, I
relish in the rant. Also like most Americans, when I’m having a bad
day, I think it only fair to let everyone know it – a goal readily met
thanks to the wonders of text messaging technology. Within seconds I
am able to disseminate my missives of misery to anyone I deem worthy,
invoking references to Satan’s domain to get my point across
effectively.
“WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?!”
“WELL, SHE CAN JUST GO TO HELL AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED!”
“WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!”
Yes, it feels good to vent with the tip of my finger. Only trouble is, I have the new iPhone and it doesn’t believe in Hell.
More Articles ...
Welcome to the new One for the Table ...
Our Home Page will be different each time you arrive.
We're sure you'll find something to pique your interest...