Stories

Among the many beloved rituals associated with this time of year, one that is often overlooked is the Ritual Cleaning of the Purse. Possibly this is due to the fact that I am the sole observer of this particular practice, but I find that it dovetails beautifully with the necessity of carrying wads of both used and unused Kleenex, and the fear of dropping a Victoria’s Secret coupon in the aisle before Christmas Eve services.

In order to prevent embarrassment, and to feel that I have control over at least one of the bloody messes in my life, I set aside a calm twenty minutes around the Winter Solstice to remove everything from the currently favored bag, evaluate the contents, and put back an optimistic selection of goods and chattels to accompany me on my seasonal rounds.

Onto the dining room table goes everything, in this instance a wallet, cell phone, reading glasses, an iPod, car keys on a ring the size of a dessert plate, a quilted pink makeup bag, a pad of Post-Its, a wad of receipts and coupons, an empty Kleenex package, three used Kleenex, a wad of unused Kleenex, several ticket stubs, a rubber ball, a single earring, a flier for Life Seekers Church, a furry breath mint, an empty Trident package, a piece of newspaper with an address written on it, a tiny first aid kit with nothing but alcohol wipes left, three paperclips and empty but pungent vial of something that smells like a waitress in a health food restaurant.

I got startled the other day while I was baking and accidentally knocked the bright orange box of baking soda to the ground, spilling the powder out into a small white mound.  Dexter bounded into the kitchen and began to lick up my mess, when suddenly his tongue stopped short and he looked up at me with this “what the fuck is that?” look on his face.  I was transported back to a childhood game my mother and I used to play.

My parents have been divorced since I was about one, so I have no memory of them together. Their separation was more a fact than a hardship.  I grew up with my father and my stepmother in New York but would visit my mother in Washington DC one weekend a month.  I think every child that spends a smaller amount of time with one parent than the other develops rituals with that parent.  The familiarity of the ritual melts the separation time and you pick up right where you left off.

My mother and I made pancakes.

As far as I’m concerned, two things of note happened in 1994.  First, I won the science fair.  And second, after spending weeks recreating a miniature, but insanely scrupulous papier-mâché Mt. Rushmore, I lost the fifth grade “state fair” by handing out fist-sized bags of pure, unadorned flour as a snack during my oral presentation.  And yet, neither the triumph nor the failure were really mine alone: I had what’s known a yes-man on both counts.  (You know who you are.  Mom.)

My science fair experiment, adapted from a handy “ideas for science fair experiments” book that my mother had bought me, involved gauging a volunteer’s stress level, showing them a bit of a scary movie, and then checking to see how the clip had affected their heart rate.  I can remember that the book recommended Psycho as an anxiety-provoking choice, and that it specified that the experiment be performed on adults not currently taking any medication.  As we didn’t own Psycho – nor possess many reliably non-medicated family friends - I came up with a few minor variables of my own.  

Since we love books WAY more than college basketball, we just had to share this. So cool!

In its fourth and biggest year yet, Out of Print's Book Madness tournament has given hundreds of thousands of fans a chance to vote their favorite books to glory. This year, Out of Print is taking it to the next level with "Hero vs. Villain."

Like college basketball's March Madness tournament, readers can complete a bracket and compete against fellow bookworms. But this year, it's all about the characters themselves, with fans voting on their favorite heroes and villains from classic lit.

Is Big Brother any match for President Snow? Will Harry Potter's magic be enough to defeat Atticus Finch? It is time to decide once and for all!

Brackets can be submitted through Sunday, March 23rd for a chance to win a $500 Out of Print gift card and other prizes. Voting begins March 24th.

To participate please visit, http://outofprintclothing.com/book-madness