Holiday Goodies

nightlove.jpg Cecilia was a ‘10’ on a scale of one to two. She had unmitigated primal passion. Her sexual appetite was unparalleled and horizontal. It was vertical and diagonal. When I suggested to Cecilia that we spend the Fourth of July in Hawaii, she responded by giving me a fireworks show in the bedroom that went on till daybreak.

After Cecilia made my night, I made travel plans. We would first go to Hanalei Bay on the North Shore of Kauai. Then to Maui – Kaanapali Beach and Hana.

As I was packing for the trip, the phone rang. It was Cecilia. She stammered and fumfered and did everything audibly possible without actually forming words.

“What’re you trying to tell me?” I asked repeatedly.

“I can’t go,” she finally said. 

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cheeselog.jpgThis is a fantastic and easy recipe from my friend Pat Loud which was passed down from her mother. She serves it at nearly every party that I’ve attended and it’s always a big hit.

As with most good recipes, the amounts are somewhat flexible – in other words, feel free to use more or less of any of the ingredients. Key to success, however, depends upon quality sharp cheddar cheese. I used Cabot Private Stock Extra Sharp Cheddar.

Any favorite bleu cheese will work – Roquefort, Danish Bleu, or English Stilton. Make sure that the cheeses are not too cold, or the mixture will not blend in the food processor.

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1.            To fall in love with someone great.

2.            To fall out of love with someone that isn't great.

3.            To read one entire book.

4.            To write one screenplay.

5.            To run 5 miles (in a row).

6.            To learn how to bake without sugar.

7.            To be nicer to my mom.

8.            To learn how to do laundry (but only if my mom does, too).

9.            To drink more coffee.

baconguacamoleMay 5th is Cinco de Mayo, the day when Mexicans commemorate their victory over the French in the Battle at Puebla of 1862. In the Mexican town of Puebla, schoolchildren will study history, artists will sing and dance and chefs will cook traditional foods, all to honor their brave ancestors.

And in cities throughout America, Americans will get drunk. Somehow, this day of national pride for Mexicans has become another excuse for Americans to get sloshed. Think I'm exaggerating? According to Time magazine Cinco de Mayo is the 4th drunkest holiday of the year.

How about this year you get drunk on bacon guacamole instead?

If you think traditional guacamole is irresistible, then be prepared to get punch drunk in love with this porky version: Classic creamy guacamole is studded with nibs of salty, smoky, crisp bacon.

And in case you're wondering, yes, bacon guacamole does taste better if you eat it while wearing a sombrero and shaking some maracas.

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