Valentines

No Special Valentine

Yesterday I asked my son Sam the question I have asked him every February since he started kindergarten. “Is there somebody you want to get a special Valentine for? We could make one, if you want, or we can pick one out when we buy the regular ones….” This year, he embellished on the six-year tradition of polite refusal by rolling his eyes and saying “no” in a tone that translated clearly into “derrrrrr.”

I am not anxious for my twelve-year-old to be in love, or even smitten. In a twisted knot of irony of the type found only in motherhood, I am simultaneously delighted that he is not interested in girls, and worried that he should be. All around him crushes are blooming, complete with third-party intercession, texting after bedtime, and group movie “dates.” Sam finds the sixth grade romance scene ridiculous, in a benign and pragmatic sort of way. His best friend is a girl, and he listens kindly and without comment to her lengthy, high-volume and rapid-fire proclamations of love for various boys. He is waiting for her to stop talking so that they can do something interesting, like making a video or playing Xbox.

About Love

Valentine's day means many things to many people.

For most, it's a time to let your loved one know how you feel. To affirm your love with flowers, candy, or even jewelry, and hope it somehow translates into rough sex.

For me, it's always been a time of reflection, since the only rough sex I'm going to have is if throw myself on Rachelle while she's filing her nails.

Which she usually is when I throw myself on her.

Yes, for me it's a chance to look back at the way things might have been... ....had I not hooked up with someone dedicated to making my life a living hell.

Don't take my word for it. Watch the show, "Living With Ed", and see for yourself. That's why I did the show. It was that or install a Nanny cam. I wanted the world could see that I wasn't making this shit up.

Chocolate for Valentine's Day

The Superbowl is over! Thanks goodness. Frankly if I saw one more post about recipes for half time snacks I was going to go long and never come back. Not that I haven't been busy. I've been eating chocolate, consider it a warm up for Valentine's Day. There is a lot of not so good chocolate out there, and I'd hate to think you'd end up with some by mistake. What you need is someone you can trust to try before you buy. In this regard, let me be of service. Without further ado, here are my chocolate picks for Valentine's Day.

1st–New and Notable

Art Pollard of Amano Chocolate is a mad genius when it comes to chocolate and while a bit wacky, under the surface he is a true perfectionist. He's won just about every award there is to win for his chocolate bars, and his latest introduction are boxes of chocolate confections. They are insanely good. They have a wonderfully delicate texture. Each flavor I tried was better than the next. The flavors are elegant and include ingredients like honey, cardamom, black pepper, key lime, and tangerine. Oh so good! But unfortunately in very limited production. If you can get your hands on a box, they are truly for a chocolate connoisseur. Do not waste them on anyone undeserving. While one chocolate is very rich and satisfying, you will find it hard to keep your hands of the rest. Only the highest quality ingredients are used, not even lecithin makes it into these gems. The 12 piece box is $24.99.

The Little White Box

I’m sorry to say that my husband is much more romantic and sentimental than I am. He’s a better gift giver and a better surprise planner. That’s why I was completely unsuspecting when our family went to one of my favorite restaurants for Valentine’s Day several years ago. I loved Prego, in Beverly Hills, and to use a quote from Jerry McGuire “they had me at the breadsticks”.

Another thing I should mention is I’m not much of a jewelry gal. I appreciate the beauty of it, but I can’t navigate decorative rings, necklaces and earrings. I work too much with my hands and everything else is just a nuisance.

So, there we were, the four of us, actually dressed up nicely for a civilized evening out. The girls seemed agitated and I just chalked it up to the usual fussiness that stopped us from taking them out in the first place. When they were much younger they used to love The Daily Grille in Brentwood.