I’m obsessed. I want to know everything. I’ve hunted for her favorite recipe for Moose stew. I spend hours on my computer searching for footage. I want transcripts. YouTube moments. Because I couldn’t write the stuff that comes out of her mouth. And I write dialogue for a living.
She is…special.
My husband Gary has pointed out that she is our first Reality Television Candidate.
I believe my husband is on to something. Her qualifications would be more appropriate for the television show: "The Amazing Race". For those uninitiated, Wikipedia explains the show on CBS to be: “a reality television game show in which teams of two people, which have some form of a preexisting personal relationship, race around the world in competition with other teams.”
No matter what you think of her run for the Vice Presidency, there is no denying that she and the First Dude (that’s more fun than Todd, isn’t it?) would make an excellent “Amazing Race” team.
High Tech, Low Tech, and On-line Afflictions
Technology
The Man's Must Have iPhone Apps
If you have an iPhone (sorry if you don't) and want to take your daily technology coolness quotient to the next level, then you need to pay attention. You won't find silly games or time wasters on this list. These are helpful, and mostly free apps (unless otherwise noted), that will kick your tech life up a notch.
DirectTV – It no longer matters if you forget to program your DVR. Now you no longer have to miss a thing. This app allows you to set your favorite shows to record no matter where you are in the world. Even if you have multiple receivers. Search by shows, channel or date & time. It's quick, simple and delivers instant piece of mind.
Remote – Play, pause, skip and shuffle your songs, playlists and album art from your iPhone as if you were right in front of your computer. Works with your Wi-Fi network, so you can control playback from anywhere in and around your home and play it through speakers connected to the network in any room. Gives your home surround sound without the cost of construction. Guaranteed to impress your friends.
Anna and I
There are only certain places I can take her. She is sort of bulky;
she never orders anything. Nowhere too crowded, I wouldn’t feel right
taking up a booth with her. But at the same time, nowhere that doesn’t
have the possibility of running into someone more interesting, in case
I wanted to ditch her, or at least set her aside for awhile. Somewhere
with just enough scenic beauty to fill a background but not enough to
completely divert my attention from her.
Today I tried a new place that neither of us had ever been to, or
perhaps she had, with a former companion. La Conversation, nestled
just under Sunset on Doheny. I stared over her and people watched,
hoping to enter into a ‘conversation’ with someone I had not yet met.
I watched a beautiful older woman accompanied by her nurse and her
nurse’s son. The woman daintily forked her salad while the nurse and
her son loudly fought about his day and the nurse gulped down a
smoothie. The woman looked past her dining mates in my direction,
although her senility suggested she stared into space and wasn’t really
interested in me.
Heidi 4 Paws
From the L.A. Times
There is nothing in this life to prepare a person to review “Heidi 4 Paws,” which premieres on KCET Sunday morning.
When my editor handed it to me with a gleam in her eye, she said: "It's Heidi. With dogs." I was confused. Did Heidi Klum have a new reality show involving dogs? Had Heidi Montag snagged a canine Christmas special?
"No, it's the story 'Heidi.' With dogs."
I began to feel bovine in my incomprehension. "Heidi" with dogs instead of goats?
"No, the dogs play all the characters."
Including, it must be added, the goats.
And there it is. "Heidi 4 Paws" is a live-action retelling of Johanna Spyri’s classic tale
of an orphan sent to live with her cantankerous grandfather high in the
Swiss Alps -- with dogs in all the roles. Dogs in kerchiefs and Swiss
frocks, dogs in alpine hats and canine approximations of lederhosen,
dogs in wigs and spectacles and, yes, little Clara's wheelchair.
The Land of Pleasant Living
I live in Los Angeles where you can get pretty much anything you want, except for one thing I covet: Chesapeake Bay steamed crabs. I grew up in Baltimore and I miss the crab feasts of my youth. So, every year my thoughtful husband has a bushel Fed-x’ed out to Santa Monica in either May, June, July or August (because crabs are good only in months lacking an “r” ). And we invite nostalgic ex-pats and brave newcomers into our West Coast yard to indulge in the pagan ritual that is so cherished back in Maryland, officially The Land of Pleasant Living.
However, if things continue the way they’re going, unfortunately even those still dwelling in the Land of Pleasant Living will be left with a raving craving. Last year, Maryland had the lowest blue crab harvest since 1945. There are only about 120 million crabs in the bay and apparently that may not be enough for a sustainable population. Overfishing, pollution, and yes, global warming are the causes. There seems no end to George W. Bush’s pillage. So it is all the more fitting and important that I sing in praise of the joyful, toothsome oceanic bacchanalias of my childhood.
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