Comfort Foods and Indulgences

I resisted Facebook for years, but the ease with which I could share and view pictures of a high-school reunion compelled me. So like most people my age, I found myself using the site to reconnect with a past I had previously ignored or forgotten. Then, when my husband passed away suddenly a little more than a year ago, Facebook became a strange lifeline during my first year of grief. Frankly, being on Facebook makes me think about what it must be like to be dead, floating like a ghost into and out of people’s lives, into and out of all the worlds we’ve inhabited. The compression and conflation of time that Facebook provides makes way for the beguiling draw of nostalgia.

Nostalgia, like grief, is essentially homesickness, and we tend to get homesick when we want to restore the parts of ourselves we think we are losing or have lost. Soon enough, I found myself looking up my old summer camps, my old junior high school (that’s what we New Yorkers called middle school), and inevitably I discovered a Facebook page dedicated to Riverdale, the small northwest Bronx neighborhood where I spent my formative years.

As I do before posting most of my recipes, I shared this one with my mom. Unlike most of my recipes, she didn't sound exactly thrilled when I read it to her. (She's not that into chocolate. Weird, I know. But whadda ya gonna do?)

The very next day I got a phone call, that went like this:

"Susan. I made those orange and chocolate chip muffins yesterday. OH. MY. GOD. They were soooo good!"

"Really? You thought so?"

"Oh, there's just something so wonderful about the combination of the tangy orange and the sweet chocolate. And you know walnuts are my favorite."

"I'm so happy you liked them!"

A few days ago, it was a rare day in SoCal…it rained. Being the proud homebody that I am, I adore a rainy day. The heat is on at a comfortable temp, a warm cup of tea sits comfortably on my desk (all day), and my ugg slippers are the shoe of choice.

Eli woke up that morning with a “bit” of the sniffles (I knew he was faking, but we are all entitled a day off now and again). The one condition; he was to stay out of my hair. I had some work to catch up on for a few clients and I was really looking forward to a day to cross some stuff off of my to-do list.

At 10:30 a.m. Eli started asking what was for lunch. I ignored him as much as I could, but then I realized that it is rare that I have a lunch partner. Lunch was going to be a joint effort, something that we could do together. With some turkey sausage in the fridge, washed leeks, a brick of feta, and some left over challah, I knew exactly what I was going to make; the ultimate comfort food – a Savory Bread Pudding.

I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don’t!  The husband does complain at times about the “fresh baked” treats that adorn our kitchen counter(no one else seems to complain…).  And when I do take a break from endless hours in the kitchen, and there is nothing under the glass dome, he sighs, makes a comment, and pouts.

This past Friday night was one of those occassions.  We had just finished a lovely Friday night dinner of roasted salmon with homemade teriyaki sauce, baked brown rice, and sauteed zucchini.  No dessert.  I did, however, have frozen cookie doughs in the freezer, but that wouldn’t do.  Although it wasn’t what he wanted, the kids talked him in to a Pinkberry run.  I was perfectly happy with my mini yogurt with fresh berries, but I knew that baking was going to be part of the weekend agenda.