A couple years back i reported about a prize-winning, record-setting burger that weighed in at over 210 pounds. Well, apparently that record has been obliterated, shattered, knuckle-dropped, air-popped, heel-stomped and other synonyms for royally busted. A burger in Minnesota weighed in at just north of one ton. (It’s 2014 pounds.) Not just your basic lazy cook’s plain burger, this one featured 60 pounds of bacon, 40 pounds each of pickles and cheese and 50 pounds of lettuce.
I, or one, would never make such a burger. First of all, they needed a crane to flip it, and my kitchen will not accommodate a vehicle larger than a bicycle. Also, I would be much to irritable to fry all that bacon. And as much as I would love to eat this monster, I’m not sure there is enough Pepto-Bismol in the world to calm the post-prandial abdominal pushback. I will therefore stick to cooking that burger’s diminutive cousin, the slider.
This little guy weighs in at only a few ounces, but I’m guessing that, flavor-wise, it is David to the Ton One’s Goliath. Only a couple of inches in diameter (vs. gonzo-burger’s ten feet), it packs a killer punch with it’s dab of chipotle mayonnaise.
So before you book your flight to Minnesota in search of a burger the size of a water bed, try the teensy:
Sassy Sliders
(Makes 8 sliders)
1 pound ground beef
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil, plus extra for the pan
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 teaspoons chipotle puree (see Note)
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1/2 cup grated cheddar cheese, or a mix of cheddar and Monterey Jack
8 dinner rolls
Preheat the broiler. Place the ground beef in a large bowl, Add the oil, mustard, 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper and mix well. Divide the meat into 8 portions and form 8 small patties.
In a small bowl, mix together the mayonnaise, chipotle puree, lime juice, garlic, 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper.
Rub a large skillet lightly with a little olive oil, and set it over medium heat. When the skillet is hot, add the patties and cook until they are well browned on the bottom, about 3 minutes. Flip the patties over and sprinkle each one with a tablespoon of the grated cheese. Continue cooking until the cheese has melted and the sliders are well browned on the other side, about 3 minutes.
While the sliders are cooking, split the rolls horizontally, place them on a baking sheet, split side up, and toast them lightly under the broiler. Spread a little of the chipotle mayo on the toasted sides of each roll.
Sandwich each slider in a dinner roll, forming a mini-burger, and serve hot.
Note: If your market doesn’t carry chipotle puree, simply puree a small (7-ounce) can of chipotle peppers in adobo sauce in your food processor.
Jessica Harper is an actor/author who lives in Los Angeles and New York. Her latest book is "The Crabby Cook Cookbook," and she also blogs at http://www.jessicaharper.com and at http://www.thecrabbycook.com.