My husband Chad went to New York recently to drop our oldest daughter
Lena off at college. That same week, our 14-year old attended a cheer
camp at UCLA for four days giving me a rare glimpse into the gaping maw
of my Empty Nest Future and lemme tell ya, it was bleak.
I won’t mince words. I walked around the house weeping. No kidding. I
went into Lena’s room and smelled her pillow and the skeletal remains
of her wardrobe. Each article of clothing summoned a sweet memory that
only served to drive the knife in further, launching another torrent of
bawling.
“Oh, those Gladiator’s from Urban Outfitters that I warned her not to
wear at Coachella. But didn’t we have a kick-ass time?’ (Sob) “Oh, and
look at this high collared floral shirt that she called “sexy
secretary” when she wore it with that over-the knee pencil
skir-hir-hir-hir-hirt, oh God, oh God, my ba-bee-he-he-he-he-heeeee.” I
just stopped short of falling to my knees, pounding my chest and
bellowing “WHY, WHY?”
School Days
School Days
Back to School
Jane Curtin, my former colleague on Saturday Night Live, characterized school cafeteria food in a way I’d never thought of. One day, on the set, I was waxing poetic about the fact that I loved the stuff. I think Spaghetti Day was my favorite.
“I don’t know what it is. It was pretty simple. Tomato sauce with ground beef and noodles. I usually had chocolate milk with it. You know, the holy trinity, savory, starchy and sweet. It was just so… divine..”
“Oh, yeah.” Jane said, as she tugged slowly on her cigarette. “Institutional food”.
“Hmmm.” I thought. “Really?”
I pictured all the movie close-ups I’d seen of miscellaneous slop being slammed on to metal trays in various pre-riot prison scenes. Some burly lifer upends the new ‘fish’s' meal. But what he doesn’t know is, the new “fish” was often Jean-Claude Van Damme or Chuck Norris. Usually canned corn and peas, white bread and mystery meat. Probably saltpeter as well.
After School Snack: Pizza Muffins
I am going to miss our lazy days of summer. Breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner doesn’t seem as daunting during the summer as it does during the school year. First of all, I get a bit of help with the prep, the clean up, and my sons culinary suggestions inspire me.
The school year brings it own set of hurdles. Breakfast and lunch have to be prepared at the same time – unless I can get my act together to prep the night before. Then there is the after school rush. Piling them into the car only to hurry home, get their homework done, give them a healthy snack, and hustle them to their various after school activities. Oh boy am I going to miss summer.
For the past few weeks I have been experimenting with a few ideas. My kids love pizza, but the stuff in the box leaves much to be desired and I just don’t have enough time to make one from scratch – given our schedule and how limited our time is (sadly said). Solution: pizza muffins.
Snap Crackle Pop Snack Bites
Back in the day, I did buy pre-packaged granola bars. The ones that we were told were “good for you”. The more I got into making homemade everything, the more I realized that most things in a package, bottle, or can contain lots of ingredients that are not only manufactured but one’s that I cannot pronounce.
As of last week, packing lunches has become part of my morning routine. Always a protein, some sort of veggie, a fruit, rice crackers or nuts, water, and if I have it on hand, a little sweet treat. Cutting out gluten is not as challenging as one would assume. It’s more the sweet treat that’s a challenge. I don’t have a” cookie jar” filled with the latest and greatest. Instead, I bake off frozen cookie dough, 8 or 10 at a time, which doesn’t leave a lot of room for leftovers. However, it was more the “granola” type bar that my kids were missing.
After several attempts at a no bake “granola” bar, I was frustrated with them not staying in one piece. Although they tasted good, they fell apart in my kids hands, making them the perfect topping for homemade ice cream. However, I wasn’t looking for toppings. I wanted a bar that I could put in their lunch for snack time. After the first batch, I pulled out my silicone muffin cups and voila, something magical happened.
Memories of School Lunch Sandwiches
You know how I made it through sophomore geometry? My mom's meatball sandwiches.
I dreaded geometry. Measures, angles, slopes, points. Coordinates? I thought they were clothes. It didn't help that my class was right before lunch, last lunch, actually, so I never knew if it was the geometry or the hypoglycemia that was causing my sweaty palms and headaches.
Nothing made me feel better than pulling my sandwich out of its paper bag. I'd take a whiff, know instantly it was a meatball sandwich, and give praise for Italian mothers. Then I'd carefully open the crinkly aluminum foil and discover three of my mom's homemade meatballs snuggled lovingly inside of a chewy Italian roll and doused with just the right amount of red gravy. It was as close to Nirvana as I would get, at least until I read Siddhartha.
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