I’m obsessed. I want to know everything. I’ve hunted for her favorite recipe for Moose stew. I spend hours on my computer searching for footage. I want transcripts. YouTube moments. Because I couldn’t write the stuff that comes out of her mouth. And I write dialogue for a living.
She is…special.
My husband Gary has pointed out that she is our first Reality Television Candidate.
I believe my husband is on to something. Her qualifications would be more appropriate for the television show: "The Amazing Race". For those uninitiated, Wikipedia explains the show on CBS to be: “a reality television game show in which teams of two people, which have some form of a preexisting personal relationship, race around the world in competition with other teams.”
No matter what you think of her run for the Vice Presidency, there is no denying that she and the First Dude (that’s more fun than Todd, isn’t it?) would make an excellent “Amazing Race” team. He’s won a big deal snowmobile race four times. They can shoot guns and fish and they aren’t afraid of cold weather or long periods of time in the dark. Her voice squeaks and sort of sounds like she’s singing, but I bet she’d be a good navigator and I bet he’d listen when she shouted directions. She knows how to get to the bridge to nowhere, that’s for sure!
But this is important, McCain would not be a good "Amazing Race" partner for her.
He does not appear very mobile. He gets angry easily. He has to be careful in the sun and he probably doesn’t look good in shorts. We don’t know that for sure, but I’m just making an educated guess.
So what could we predict looking at the two teams—McCain/Palin, and Obama/Biden in the television version of “The Amazing Race”? It would help to take a peek at the possible Producers Notes for the CBS TV show:
Team One: Male/Female teams bring a certain dynamism to the race. There is usually sexual tension. But the McCain/Palin team is more Father/Daughter than equal partners. Plus they have not known each other a long time. This is a problem! Teams are supposed to have long, pre-existing relationships. This adds drama to the race. So Team One is starting with a major deficit. But one member of the team is a former Beauty Contestant. This is often the case with teams and is greatly encouraged! This could result in some great footage when the team takes a wrong turn or gets hopelessly lost. It would be important for the producers to throw them some scripted lines for this inevitability —“the road signs were Gotcha Road Signs!’. None of this is our fault!!!!” The team has already announced that they will call themselves: The Mavericks.
Team two: Male/Male team. They have known each other longer than six weeks. This is a plus. They seem to genuinely like each other. But Team Obama/Biden also has a large age disparity. This could create problems. But we’ve got a hip, young, ethnic guy and the wise, talkative, older white guy. We know this works onscreen. See “Chico and the Man”. We know one looks good in shorts (see basketball footage). This team will call themselves: The Changemakers.
But Producers note that the Mavericks want to be called the Changemakers, too. This will cause some confusion. The Mavericks cannot be allowed to have two team names. They must stick to one.
There is one thing probably everyone can agree upon. In the CBS version of The Amazing Race, Sarah Palin and the First Dude Todd would kick everyone’s ass.
But life as we know it, thank God, is not the CBS version. I’m hopeful that soon we’ll be eating Chicago’s finest--an Italian beef sandwich with fries rolled up in wax paper, topped off with an original rainbow cone of ice-cream.
If not, I include a recipe I found on BowHunters.com…for MOOSE STEW:
Moose Hunting Tips - What to do After the Kill?
Moose meat is excellent and should be treated with care and respect. The hunter's pride in bagging his moose should not stop after the kill, but continue through to the excellent steaks and roasts he or she can serve to guests as they listen spellbound to the tale of the hunt.
Bleeding: A quick, clean kill will prevent the animal's blood and adrenalin from rushing into muscles as it bounds away wounded. After your animal is down, approach it carefully from the rear. Make sure it's dead before you get close so you don't get kicked with its sharp hooves. Bleed the carcass immediately by keeping the blood from getting into the meat and tainting it, you can prevent any gamey taste often associated with game meat.
Moose Stew:
3 slices bacon, cut up
4 medium onions, quartered
4 medium potatoes, quartered
1 package fresh or frozen green beans
3 bay leaves
2 lbs. moose meat, cubed
4 carrots, sliced
1 package fresh or frozen peas
1 (46 oz.) can tomato juice
Brown bacon in heavy kettle. Add meat and brown on all sides. Add onions and sauté. Add all remaining ingredients and simmer 1 hour or until flavors are mixed and vegetables and meat are tender. Remove bay leaves.
Enjoy!
Holly Goldberg Sloan is a writer/director of family films. She wrote "Angels in the Outfield,", "Made in America", "The Big Green", "The Crocodile Hunter Movie" and the soon to be finished "Heidi 4 Paws". Cooking, she believes, is like writing. It's good to start with a solid plan, and then be willing to go with the flow.