Every website has one...and so should you. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE
the Internet. I make my living because of it. I've been shopping on it
since Day 1. Used AOL before there was a World Wide Web when you had to
dial-up to get on. Being married to someone known in our circle as The
Man – because he can fix any computer problem – leads people to believe
that I'm as tech savvy as he is. People are continuously surprised when
they discover how low-tech I actually am. There seems to be a
disconnect when I explain that I just work on the computer, I don't
understand how it works. Sure, I can install software, program my
iPhone and even add more memory to a machine in a pinch, but when it
comes to setting up an email account, using a Blackberry, texting from
my phone or posting a video to YouTube, I have less knowledge than a
5th Grader.
You won't find me on MySpace, Linked In or Facebook. Partially because
I run three websites and want to have a life away from my
computer...though I love it so... but mainly because I find the idea of
"social networking" more than a little creepy. Is it really social if
you're just typing on a computer by yourself? People extol the virtues
of finding long lost friends, yet I have to wonder: if you were such
good buddies why didn't you stay connected in the first place? Are you
really going to have anything to say to the kid who sat next to you in
the third grade? Clearly I'm the only one who doesn't want my past to
find me. These sites claim they help you keep connected, but do I need a webpage to alert my friends to what's going on in my
life? Isn't that why you get together? In person?!? Don't even get me
started on Twitter. While I find Shaq Twittering clues of his whereabouts for
people to find him and get free game tickets hilarious and fun, I really don't
need to know or care that P. Diddy has gone to bed.
It goes without saying that the Man is Linked In and on Facebook. Occasionally I check out his pages to make sure he's not "poking" other women or posting pics I don't approve of. (Sometimes a little Photoshop is necessary.) Why you would want to share all your business with the entire world is beyond me. I know you only put up what you want to and can block strangers from seeing your page, blah, blah, blah, but it seems the desire for popularity trumps the need for personal privacy, even in the virtual world. The more friends the better and who cares who they are? They like "insert band name/hobby here" just like me, they must be cool. Hello? You probably don't know your physical neighbor's last name, but you're best buddies with Bob from Arkansas? Does no one else watch CSI? Am I the only one who worries about being found dead in the trunk of my car because I hooked up with "friends" I met on the Internet? (Clearly not a realistic scenario where I'm concerned, but still.) Am I the only one whose instinct is to hide? To protect my personal life like I do my house? The fact that you don't always know who's really on the other end of the keyboard should scare people a little, yet all it seems to do is make them more open. This horrifies me to my core. Seriously.
I guess when you grow up with the computer as your friend, it's hard to see that it could be an enemy. Personally, I'm glad I came of age in the 80s. Remember the days when you had to PAY for film...and then PAY to get it developed? You didn't just take pictures willy-nilly. If you spent the money, you wanted those memories to last. To share them, you had to get "double prints." Now, your personal moments can be spread like wildfire for the entire world to see. You'd think it would give people pause before posting or sending, but no. Fame seems to be the goal and shame has gone out the window. Who cares if it's embarrassing as long as it gets a million hits on YouTube? Every week I here another "sad story" about a young girl who took a naked pic just for her boyfriend (who promised he'd never show anyone) only to have it shared instantly between all his friends. Am I surprised? Only by her stupidity. If you can figure out how to send it, so can he...and he will...to every man he knows...and they will, too. They can't help themselves. It's like knowing water is wet. It's a fact of nature. Use your brain. You read the Internet, you know what can happen.
Things are starting to swing back the other way and it's about time. The news story that businesses were starting to look up applicant's MySpace pages to see what kind of people they are, just cracked me up. Perhaps posting those photos of your Spring Break trip to New Orleans wasn't such a good idea after all. Sure, your potential employer may enjoy looking at you exposing your breasts for beads and downing your fifth Hurricane – and want to go on a date with you – but he's probably not going to entrust you to run a department when his money is on the line. It goes, without saying that all of us have had nights we don't or don't want to remember, but perhaps some better judgement when the fog clears will make more of us choose to keep those misdeeds private...or at least off the Internet. After all, you never know who's watching.
Lisa Dinsmore is a writer, web programmer, movie and wine lover. She lives with her husband, The Man, and runs two review websites to share her passions: www.crazy4cinema.com and www.dailywinedispatch.com.