Europe

The 3-star Michelin restaurant Mugaritz (rated 3rd in the Top Fifty Restaurants of the World) is high up in hills of Errenteria, Spain twenty minutes outside of San Sebastian. It is surprisingly easy to get to if you are an expert in Himalayan climbs, hairpin turns, and fluent in the basque language called Euskara. After you arrive at this culinary mecca, you remove your crampons, ice axe, and Formula One racing helmet, and are ushered into their gorgeous kitchen sanctum. A sparkling cava (Copa Cava Opus Evolutium Ad Private) is given to you to sip. A discussion is then held between you and the various friendly alchemists who will be cooking your meal regarding the philosophical underpinnings of that evening's dishes.

You are taken to your table. A glass of Ossian 2008 white wine is poured. A single small potato (called "Edible Stones" on the menu) that has been cooked in an edible clay shell sits on top of heated gravel. You bite into it hoping your dental insurance has been squared away and realize that it is soft and what you always hoped a potato could be, what any food could be. You dip it into an aiolli sauce and realize that if you only went to Spain for this one potato it would have been enough, more than enough, maybe even too much.

It was a Lonely Planet recommendation, but the description made it hard to tell – it was definitely trendy, but would it be good? We arrived, and it was, as promised, a scene. A hungover beautiful and eclectic mix of intellectuals, euro-hipsters, intimidating groups of girls that had ‘fun’ engraved in their shawls, and Turkish men.

I tried to get a look at people’s plates, just to see what the food looked like, but everyone’s plate was empty. Not just empty with the bones and the garnishes still there, but empty like three separate tables of people were currently scooping up the last bit of sauce with their knife and fork and slurping it up. A promising sign.

So we sat down and waited, but nobody came. The place was crowded and it seemed like there were at least 10 waiters, but when I followed their paths each “waiter” sat down with the plate of food they were bussing and started to eat. Which is when I realized it’s a buffet. The kind of place where if you don’t fend for yourself, you’re not going to get anywhere, and you’re certainly not going to get any food.