“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO TURKEY???” I have never sent an angrier text in my life. Ping!
“We are having my famous Native American pumpkin chili,” Mother just texted back. “You liked it last year.”
No. I did not like it last year! In fact, I did not like her famous Native American pumpkin chili soooo much last year that I had politely excused myself from the table, raced into the kitchen under the guise of needing a glass of water, and promptly shoveled the chili into the family dog’s bowl. If I recall correctly, even the family dog, who eats her own poop, wanted nothing to do with Mother’s famous Native American pumpkin chili. She wanted turkey.
“But it won’t be Thanksgiving w/o turkey!” I am texting back to my mom now with trembling hands.
Ping! Snotty response? “Check your history. Turkey has very little to do with the “First Thanksgiving.”