Ahhh….end of summer. Shooting stars spark August skies, like fireflies
surprised my nights back East. When I was little, lightening bugs
against a celestial backdrop made me micro, shuddering first at the
size of the universe and how my life’s light merely flickers for a
second in it, like theirs. Then I’d go macro and wonder if the teensy
fireflies looked at humans and felt submicroscopic by comparison. Or
were they far better off than girls like me losing sleep over such
things. Fireflies never scared me; thoughts of my mortality did.
Ahh…quiet mornings with brilliant L.A. light….confluence of
houseflies who found their way in through portals left open by window
washers now stud clean glass seeking the sun. Fury overcoming fear, I
attack, slap happy with my swatter. Now it’s hard to see out the
cleaned windows around their drying corpses smearing the glass. Maybe
one should only wash windows in winter.
Ahh…summer greenery caresses my cottage…and cobwebs decorated with
gnat carcasses and teensy leaves line every corner in which they can be
hitched. Talented Daddy Long Legs lurk unseen between the eaves
waiting to ensnare me in their astounding webs, or scare a scream out
of me as they lurk in my bathtub. Why do they scare me so?
Ahh, summer dusk, whose serenity is compromised by the fine whine,
like a dentist’s drill, of mosquitoes dive bombing my ear, or
approaching by stealth, stinging me deeply til they die of their
gluttony or my belated slap. Calomine lotion cracks pink across my
calves, and I reek of repellent, as mosquitoes will travel through fire
and flood far across state lines to find me. That’s how alluringly
attractive I have the misfortune to be, and how moist nights are marred
by small murders. Mosquitoes are brazenly brave kamikaze suicide
terrorists with some extremist insect sect, hoping to take me out itch
by itch before they die.
Ahh…sweet sounds of the summer night. A cacophony of crickets give
a concert and counting the number of their chirps per fifteen seconds
and adding forty tells the temperature. That counting calms me. Then
they can suddenly jump twenty times the length of their own bodies
right into my lap and send me shrieking inside.
Insects own the world. We’re on borrowed lands and time. They will
ignore any control measures, any ecologically correct deterrents and
overpopulate, bite and infect our people. They will eat us alive…unless
we eat them first.
My mentee Angelica de Los Angeles, who graduated from Los Angeles
High School with honors in June, laughs at my fears. On her way to
college on scholarship, a math and science genius, much smarter than me
about many things. She is untriggered by traumas and Teflon for
terrors. For her, insects are not scary. They are a delicacy.
Back in Oaxaca she and her family would catch colonies of crickets,
small as the tip of a finger, in the meadows with bags, and blanche
them in boiling water, except for the ones that leapt out of the pot
who deserved to live. In another pan, they’d prepare a sauce of
garlic, lemon and salt. Then they’d pour the drained crickets into the
pan and fry them til they were soft and flavorful. Chapulines were a
special appetizer for upbeat occasions. Her family can’t seem to catch
enough crickets in California and miss that dish greatly.
Now the push for ingesting insects is on, as protein sources lessen
and hungry mouths increase in number, (just like imbibing treated
blackwater will become the norm as water sources diminish). Here are
some recipes to make them palatable. Where is Julia when we need her?
Dry Roasted Grasshoppers
Spread fresh, frozen and cleaned insects on paper towels on a cookie sheet. Bake at 200° for 1-2 hours until desired state of dryness is reached. Check state of dryness by attempting to crush insect with spoon. From Orkin
Garlic Butter Fried Grasshoppers
1/4 cup butter
6 cloves garlic, crushed
1 cup cleaned insects*
Melt
butter in fry pan. Reduce heat. Sauté garlic in butter for 5 minutes.
Add insects. Continue sautéing for 10 - 15
minutes, stirring
occasionally. From Orkin
Grasshopper Fritters
from 'Ronald Taylor's "Butterflies in My Stomach"
3/4
cup sifted flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
3/4 c milk
1 egg,
slightly beaten
1 c grasshoppers
1 pt. heavy cream beaten stiff
Sift flour, baking powder and salt together into a bowl. Slowly add
milk and beat until smooth. Add egg and beat well.
Pluck off
grasshopper wings and legs, heads optional. Dip insects in egg batter
and deep fry. Salt and serve.
from Amazing Grasshopper Recipes.
Parcht Locusts
This dish was discovered by William Dampier in 1687,
while visiting the Bashee Islands (located between the Philippines
and
Taiwan). He described it in A New Voyage Round the World:
They
had another Dish made of a sort of Locusts, whose Bodies were about an
Inch and an half long, and as thick as the
top of one's little Finger;
with large thin Wings, and long and small Legs. ... The Natives would
go out with small Nets, and
take a Quart at one sweep. When they had
enough, they would carry them home, and parch them over the Fire in an
earthen Pan; and then their Wings and Legs would fall off, and their
Heads and Backs would turn red like boil'd Shrimps,
being before
brownish. Their Bodies being full, would eat very moist, their Heads
would crackle in one's Teeth. I did once
eat of this Dish, and liked
it well enough....from Dr. Frog's Recipe Page
Popcorn Crunch
Here's an easy treat to prepare and take to the drive-in movie. The kids will love it.
1/2 cup butter, melted
1/2 cup honey
3 quarts
popcorn, popped
1 cup dry roasted insects, chopped
Blend the butter and honey together in a saucepan and heat gently. Mix
the popcorn with the insects and pour the
butter-honey mixture over
it. Mix well. Spread on a cookie sheet in a thin layer. Bake at 350° 10
to 15 minutes, or until
crisp. Break into bite-sized pieces. From
Orkin