Miss Easter Bunny

by Amy Ephron
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easter-bunny.jpg My mother thought organized religion was one of the problems with the world, this extended to the Girl Scouts and the PTA (a somewhat convenient belief for a mother of 4, since you can’t ask someone to go against their beliefs).  She also believed that children shouldn’t be allowed to act.

I have never quite understood how I talked her into letting me enter the Beverly Hills’ Miss Easter Bunny pageant when I was 8 – one of the prizes was a screen-test – but I did.     

I don’t know what I was thinking.  I think I thought it would be fun to ride down Beverly Drive in an old white cadillac with the top down sitting next to the Mayor of Beverly Hills and wave at the throngs of people I imagined would be lining the streets.  I think I thought I was going to win. 

Little did I know, the fix was in. 

My dress was perfect.  Did I sing, No, I think I recited an Emily Dickinson poem.  I don’t remember.  I remember feeling TALL.  And somewhat awkward.  Pretty.  But somewhat awkward. 

And Janie Roberts won.  Janie Roberts, (who may in fact have been a more appropriate Miss Easter Bunny since she was 3’1” to my probably 4’7” even at the age of 8) but Janie Roberts’ mother owned Taffy’s Dress Shop.  And Taffy’s was the sponsor of the Beverly Hills' Miss Easter Bunny Pageant. 

And my mother was indignant.  “You don’t honestly believe that the Miss Easter Bunny Pageant was rigged, do you?” my father asked her.

Yes, of course, that’s exactly what she believed and she turned her nose up certain she was right about it and that organized religion was the problem with everything and organizations (and contests) were better not to be entered. 



0 #3 Carol Dudley 2013-03-27 12:24
I remember your mom so well and thought she was really great - and mine, with six, somehow managed to skip PTA - she wasn't hot for Brownies or Girl Scouts either. Taffys - now there is a memory.
+1 #2 fredde 2013-03-27 11:34
What a great story!!!!!!! I LOVE your mom!!! She was so much like my mom, telling me I couldn't become an actress until I could drive myself to auditions!!! JANIE ROBERTS!!!!!! Loved her but don't think she's with us anymore, sadly. The contest was definitely rigged!!!!!
0 #1 Carole Bartholomeaux 2008-03-23 10:17
Amy what a lesson to learn at such an early age! I did not learn that 'til I was nominated for the Athena Award. I made it to the top ten and knew that I had performed the requisite charity work; mentored numerous young women and overcome personal tragedy, all required. But the winner was an attorney in a prestigious law firm who only mentored attorneys in her firm, for which she was paid a six figure salary, and who admitted to hiring staff to work on charities in her name while her law firm sponsored the contest. To add injury to insult she took the words from my profile, "I want to thank my father who always told me I could achieve anything if I worked hard enough and believed in myself, and my mother who gave my heart wings..." and used them in her acceptance speech. A priest friend at our table was indignant. So goes big business. I think learning the lesson you learned at eight was better. Although, I don't think either has anything to do with organized religion. ;-)

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