You Say It's Your Birthday

uncle_sam.gif

 

On Groundhog Day 1972, I think Punxsutawney Phil saw Nixon’s shadow. I know I did. It was the day of the draft lottery, and I didn’t want to win. Not when the prize was Vietnam.

One of my college roommates woke me up by banging a ladle against a frying pan next to my ear.

“Get up”, he said. “You’re number five.”

Number five. I needed comfort food.

A restaurant in town had a special. All The Pancakes You Can Eat For 39 Cents.

Carbo-loading and gluttony suddenly seemed like a good way to try to get the number “5” out of my head.

There were four of us with no car in an off-campus apartment. Next door were two girls with two cars. We asked them out for breakfast. It wasn’t about courtship. It wasn’t about being neighborly. It was about pancakes. And we needed a ride.

Apparently, the girls mistook our agenda for charm. Or we mistook their pity for amusement. Either way, it got us to the restaurant.

The girls ordered coffee. My roommates and I ordered pancakes. They came three to an order, and we each ordered ten times. A total of 120 pancakes.

Six people, two coffees, 120 pancakes, and the bill was $2.30. A fifteen percent tip might get us killed. There I was, looking at the real possibility of being sent to Vietnam, and I was worried about what a waitress might do to me.

Two hours and ten pounds later, I realized my roommate had my birthday wrong. My lottery number wasn’t five, it was 327. But, as it turned out, five would have been just as safe. The draft ended before anyone from that year had to serve. But on that ominous day in 1972, I didn’t know that. All I knew was that pancakes never tasted so good.

Robert Keats was born October 28, 1953.

 

 

Robert Keats is a screenwriter and humorist. He is currently developing a television series for Penny Marshall.

 

Results for Men Facing the Draft in 1973

Lottery Numbers, by Birth Date, for Selective Service
Lottery Held February 2, 1972

This determined the order in which men born in 1953
were called to report for induction into the military

 

Jan

Feb

Mar

Apr

May

Jun

Jul

Aug

Sep

Oct

Nov

Dec

1

150

112

203

012

058

015

039

323

219

215

107

170

2

328

278

322

108

275

360

297

027

017

128

214

090

3

042

054

220

104

166

245

109

003

226

103

232

056

4

028

068

047

280

172

207

092

313

356

079

339

250

5

338

096

266

254

292

230

139

063

354

086

223

031

6

036

271

001

088

337

087

132

208

173

041

211

336

7

111

154

002

163

145

251

285

057

144

129

299

267

8

206

347

153

050

201

282

355

131

097

157

312

210

9

197

136

321

234

276

083

179

007

364

116

151

120

10

037

361

331

272

100

178

089

249

217

342

257

073

11

174

026

239

350

307

064

202

125

334

319

159

082

12

126

195

044

023

115

190

340

198

043

171

066

085

13

298

263

244

169

049

318

306

329

229

269

124

335

14

341

348

117

081

224

095

305

205

353

014

237

038

15

221

308

152

343

165

016

359

241

235

277

176

137

16

309

227

094

119

101

032

074

019

225

059

209

187

17

231

046

363

183

273

091

199

008

189

177

284

294

18

072

011

357

242

098

238

121

113

289

192

160

013

19

303

127

358

158

148

052

332

105

228

167

270

168

20

161

106

262

314

274

077

033

162

141

352

301

149

21

099

316

300

004

310

315

005

030

123

288

287

080

22

259

020

317

264

333

146

286

140

268

191

102

188

23

258

247

022

279

216

212

365

302

296

193

320

252

24

062

261

071

362

246

061

324

138

236

256

180

155

25

243

260

065

255

122

143

035

290

291

009

025

006

26

311

051

024

233

118

345

204

076

029

078

344

351

27

110

186

181

265

293

330

060

034

248

325

135

194

28

304

295

045

055

018

053

185

040

070

327

130

156

29

283

---

021

093

133

075

222

084

196

349

147

175

30

114

---

213

069

048

142

200

182

184

346

134

281

31

240

---

326

---

067

---

253

218

---

010

---

164

Source: Selective Service System

uncle_sam.gif