The Conflict with Nostalgia

by Sophie Kipner
Print Email

girlsplaying.jpgI’m not quite sure when it happened, but somewhere between my childhood and early teenage years I stopped believing that I was capable of doing anything. We all did. Knowing better overruled my sense of creativity and ability to imagine any possible combination of outcomes.

Last night I sat next to my best friend of 24 years, on the floor of her Los Feliz apartment. Each with a computer on our lap, we wrote our stories. I remember when we used to sit together and, instead of just creating fictional characters, we were those characters. Our imaginations transported us like a time machine to wherever we wanted to go, as whoever we wanted to be.

I can recall being a shopkeeper – and a damn good one at that – at age 5. Kate and I would block off the kitchen and charge our parents a nickel every time they wanted something out of the fridge. In retrospect, we were genius. Back then, we weren’t intentionally manipulative or greedy money makers. No. We were just doing our jobs - because after all, we were shopkeepers. And it was awesome.

So what happened? When did we lose that ability? I’d give my right foot to really be a shopkeeper, or a German tourist as we would sometimes pretend, or whatever I wanted to be at any given moment. It takes a few glasses of Jack to take me there now. Joking. Maybe.

Nostalgia is a weird thing. It was once described as a form of melancholy, a painful yearning for the past. After the initial joy of recalling a particular memory, all I can think about is how far removed from it I am today. Eckhart Tolle would be waving his finger at me now. Nostalgia is the biggest enemy of living in the moment, because life moves on around you while you’re stuck reminiscing about the past. But while I long to be back in a stagnant memory, I paradoxically love change and maturation. I just wish I could figure out how to love this moment as much as I’ll love recalling it.


More of Sophie’s writing and sketches can be found on  1


#1 jax winter 2011-07-12 04:18
I love this . It is true when you are a kid you are totally immersed in your fantasy... and I am 'guilty' of your last sentence!!

You have no rights to post comments


restaurant news

The Hungry Nomad
Los Angeles
by Anna Harari

hungrynomad.jpgThree weeks into all night shoots in Chatsworth on a low-budget indie movie with the same caterer twice a day serving us burgers for “breakfast” every single day (not even I can eat a burger...

Old School London Eats
London - British Isles
by Carolan Nathan

rulesdining.jpgRules is the oldest restaurant in London. Situated in Maiden Lane, Covent Garden, this eaterie is simply splendid not only for the food but also its history and the pictorial passing of time...

A (Sides) Trip to Los Olivos, CA
Southern California
by Lisa Dinsmore

Sides Hardware and ShoesWe love going to wine country. It's our favorite place to vacation. It's peaceful and beautiful and you can drink during the day without having to be in a bathing suit….or anyone judging you....

A Perfect Saturday in the Bay Area
San Francisco
by Rachel Parker

sanfranciscocablecars.jpg The trouble with San Francisco is that there are way too many fabulous places to eat. Regardless of how much over-eating a person chooses to do, enjoying more than 3 meals a day may be the...