Coelodonta Thibetana Soup, yum.

by Nancy Ellison
Print Email

rhino.jpgWhat exciting news this past week! “The Woolly Rhino – a new species of ancient rhinoceros found in Tibet.” And, it's only 3.7 million years old!

Not that my first thought was how to prepare a Woolly Rhino that has aged for 3½ million years, (obviously one can forego the tenderizer) and if it is that ancient, how long should I cook it. Well, actually it was my first thought, though I hardly think it would be a Paleontologist’s.

Not without guile, I turned to the internet for Woolly Rhino recipes, and – quite naturally since you can find anything on the internet – I found one on CLUTCHFITNESS.COM: where research meets reality! (“a cutting edge power building, body building, fitness and nutrition forum”)

PILOCENE WOOLLY RHINO SOUP

Prep time: 1-2 months
Cook time: 1 month
Ready in: 2-3 months

Ingredients:

1 medium size rhinoceros (One must be cautious. It is likely the Woolly Rhino may be a bit larger. I would suggest perhaps doubling the other ingredients)
3 rabbits (optional)
Salt and pepper to taste
(Personally I would also add a case or two of sherry)

Directions:

1. Obtain a medium sized rhinoceros from your local safari
2. Cut rhinoceros into tiny pieces. This typically takes 1-2 months.
3. Locate an 8000 quart stockpot
4. Along with the 3 rabbits and rhinoceros bits (DON’T FORGET THE SHERRY) add 4000 quarts of water to the pot and cook (covered I presume) over a bonfire for 4 weeks (856 degrees)
5. Add salt and pepper to taste

Nutritional information:
Calories 27,954
Total grams: 500 lbs
Cholesterol: 6000kg

Serving size 3000 persons

DISCLAIMER: A personal note, I have not attempted this recipe. Firstly, I can not attest to the amounts and feel one needs to test this recipe before preparing it for 3000 people, and secondly not knowing the real flavor of a Coelodonta Thibetana, I have to think it would be somewhat similar to the taste of a woolly mammoth, saber-tooth cat or other Tibetan beasts on ice.

See Source: Science Magazine

 

Nancy Ellison, award winning photojournalist and celebrity portraitist, has authored fourteen books of photographs, including "Romeo and Juliet: The Love Story in Dance" and "Starlet". Her latest book, "Wagner's Eternal Ring" was published in September 2010 by Rizzoli.  

You have no rights to post comments

 

restaurant news

O Rhode Island, How You Have Changed
New England
by David Latt

ri1.jpgIn the mid-1970s, when I lived in Providence the food wasn't very good. Sure there was great local seafood, especially clams and lobsters, but if you wanted to eat out, your choices were pretty...

Read more...
Duck Fat
Maine
by Anna Harari

duckfat.jpgIf one day, someone asks me what the best French fries I have ever eaten were, I would probably be inclined to remember Benita's Frites, this railroad-sized French fry shop on the Santa Monica...

Read more...
Tartine Bakery - San Francisco
San Francisco
by Joseph Erdos

tartinecroissantMy first day in San Francisco—and much of my whole trip—was rainy. But despite the unusually rainy weather, the best part of my first day was having breakfast at Tartine Bakery. Located in the...

Read more...
Luke's Lobster Roll
New York
by Michael Tucker

ImageWinter on the Upper West Side of New York is a strange time and place to open a lobster shack. Where’s the beach, for example? Where’s the sun? The seagulls? It’s hard to conjure up seafood by the...

Read more...