Artisan Cheese in the Valley? Are You Kidding Me?

by Laraine Newman
Print Email

artisan-cheese-gallery.jpgSo, I was like, driveen in the valley ‘n’ stuff? And I like drove past a shop that said Artisan Cheese Gallery, ‘n’ stuff? And I was like “wait, did I just, um, this is like the valley, ok?  And I think I jist saw sometheen with the word ‘artisan’ on Ventura Blvd.”.  No way, right? So, I go “maybe I’ll jist turn around and check it out, right?” So, alls I wanted to do was see if I dint eemagine it? 

So anyways, I turn around and park and go in.  Let me tell you darlings, it was as if a magic wand was waved over me, imbuing me with all manner of sophistication.  This was no ordinary cheese shop. It was a ‘gallery’ indeed. The light streaming in from the street reminded me of my days spent in the South of France (NOT). Wooden shelves lined with cheeses that were in their natural habitat of room temperature beckoned for my palate to take the journey.  A sliver of Boschetto with Black Truffles from Italy brought on such a surge of ecstasy through my body, I could have used something to hold on to. A bedpost, perhaps?  I closed my eyes with rapture as I allowed Brie Nangis from France to slowly dissolve on my tongue.

cheese02.jpgThe assistants were most solicitous and the young woman who helped me was also responsible for baking a chocolate chip cookie being sold at the cash register. This cookie had a complexion of chocolate chunks that just screamed ‘don’t miss it!” And I didn’t. The fellow checking me out casually mentioned that there was sea salt in the cookie and the deal was sealed.  I think in the world of gambling, I might be what is known as a ‘whale’.  There were also red velvet cookies that were beautifully wrapped and displayed on a tiered wire basket along with other tempting candies. I barely got out of there alive.

Clutching my triple crème Brillat Savarin, my baguette and my cookie, I made my way to my car which was parked next to DuPars.

I told myself the cookie would make it home, but I wasn’t facing reality. It was a totally bogus notion and I was screwed big time. Once, I like, unwrapped it, I was like, “woah, this is so, like in my mouth right now!” It was awesome. Seriously, dude.

Artisan Cheese Gallery
12023 Ventura Blvd.
Studio City, CA 91604
818-505-0207

 

Laraine Newman is a founding member of The Groundlings Theatre Company and an original cast member of Saturday Night Live.  She lives in her hometown of Los Angeles with her husband and two daughters. 

You have no rights to post comments

 

restaurant news

Plums Cafe & Catering: A Must Stop in Costa Mesa
Southern California
by Kitty Kaufman

plums cafe 1Here's what I like about California: People think nothing of driving 82 miles for lunch. (In New York, this never happens.) The Thin Man and I are now two of those people as we head out from La...

Read more...
Zingerman's
Michigan
by Mandy Blake

zings1.jpg I have a vivid memory of my parents entertaining friends on Christmas Eve in 1982.  My mother threw all of her Protestant tradition out the kitchen window and ordered Zingerman’s pastrami on rye...

Read more...
A Perfect Boston Day: City Landing and Mike's Pastry
Boston
by Kitty Kaufman

City landing 2Boston's City Landing is across from Marriott Long Wharf and down the block from ferries that will zip you to P-Town. Outside, miss not a minute of tourist central with concierges, ferry blasts,...

Read more...
Gingergrass
Los Angeles
by Charles G. Thompson

gingergrass.jpgHungry!  Need.  Food.  Now.  There are times when eating becomes the thing I have to do before anything else.  Knowing of close-to-home restaurants is of paramount importance to me.  Luckily,...

Read more...