The Wife I Always Wanted

by Don Seigel
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Sometimes we post letters that one of us receives just because they're so hilarious and on-point. That's how we feel about Don Seigel's response to Tracy Newman when she invited him to hear her play at Genghis Cohen.

Tray,

Regrettably, we won't be able to make the show on Saturday night. I forgot that I invited my father-in-law over that night for dinner and the Pacquio fight. We will, however, catch you the next time you are there, or somewhere else.

ImageAs far as my cooking, I have discovered the absolute delight of the slow cooker. We've had one for years, but I never used it until a few months ago. Since then I have picked up a wonderful cookbook with recipes designed specifically for the slow cooker from Williams-Sonoma.

Yesterday, after dropping Julian off at school in the morning I returned home to make a Cuban Chicken. I cut up a chicken into eight pieces and browned the pieces for ten minutes in three tablespoons of olive oil and salt before placing them into the cooker. I then discarded all but a tablespoon of the oil left behind and added to it and the chickens drippings four coarsely ground garlic cloves. I cooked the garlic for about one minute, then added one cup of orange juice and 1/4 cup of lime. I placed this heavenly mixture on a high heat and in three to four minutes it reduced to a sauce one can only describe as orgasmic. I poured the sauce reduction over the chicken, and topped it all with a sliced onion. I placed the lid on the cooker and set the timer for eight hours.

I then went out, ran my errands, picked up Julian at 2:45, and returned to a home that was delightfully aromatic. I did Julian’s home work with him and at 6:00 p.m. turned to my slow cooker to find an aesthetically pleasing dish, which I served an hour later over white rice.

ImageSitting in its own and other juices for eight hours the chicken was moist, delectable and almost fell off the bone. Rose and I couldn't believe how delicious the chicken tasted. Seated at the dinner table all together Julian remarked "This is shit!" and requested a trip to McDonald's, which, of course, I denied him.

The other dishes I have made include Chicken Adobe, Barbeque brisket, Pulled Pork, Chicken Cacciatorre, Vegetable Ratatouille, Chicken and Sausage gumbo to name a few, all of which Julian refuses to eat except for the the pulled pork. I told him "man cannot live on pork alone" to which he replied "Prove it."

Life here in Calabasas is sometimes challenging but slowly and surely, at least for me, I am becoming the wife I have always wanted.

Will talk soon,

Love Don

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